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I've Got This

I've been silent for quite some time from this blog. At times I don't always know what to say and don't always want to have negative things going on to write about. However, at the same time I am so tired of having to be fake and being "OK" all the time. I'm not perfect, and I'm doing better. Some days are better than others and some days are even great. I'm so happy at where I am at these days and I am feeling so accomplished for so many things.

At the same time, there are days where I feel like I'm thrown back and have to face everything head on all over again. I'm learning that my former extended family doesn't belong to me any more, especially now that there is another girl in A's life. I need to allow for her and A and his family to start their own memories and start developing whatever relationship is going to happen. I absolutely adore them and will always care about them. Seeing pictures of the lake, and the pontoon makes me miss those weekends. If only they were the only part of divorce that I didn't have to get rid of.

I had a great conversation with a co-worker (I was subbing and she's a full-time teacher) about boundaries and the movie Mother's Day. She talked about a scene in the movie where Jennifer Aniston has saved a place for herself and her purse to watch her daughter's concert (or something to that effect). The new significant other comes in and acts as if they are best friends and wants to sit next to her. Aniston says, "Boundaries!" I had my own version of this occur today. I won't go into details, but it just puts into perspective how some people see things differently in certain situations.

Not only have I made a goal for myself to get back on the fitness train, but also to just not be fake. Being fake only makes it harder to be your true self. Life isn't roses all the time; at least not for me. Maybe for some people, but I live the real life where it completely sucks sometimes. I truly believe that having goals and seeing yourself achieve them is the best way to keep yourself in check. It not only continues to force yourself to have goals, but to obtain them.

Regardless if you are a single parent, single, divorced, married, or have a long-term significant others, all relationships are strong when each individual has goals, and you have goals as a couple as well. You can push each other to meet those goals and then celebrate together for the hard work put into making those goals a reality.

I "ran" a 5k last weekend through the vineyard where I work, and it was one of the most challenging races I've done. Not just because I haven't ran since last September, but overall since it was a cross-country run, which I've never done before. But crossing that finishing line made it apparent that "I've got this. I can do this. And I WILL do this." I will get myself back to where I was a year ago. I will look and feel better about myself, and be strong - both inside and out.

Join me on my NEW journey - Single mom, full-time student, and just making mistakes.


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