* Disclosure....this will be a long blog post*
Holy moly! I seriously haven't blogged since August? Where the heck has time gone. I think I do a lot of "blogging" in my head when I'm driving 200 miles a day. Being in the car gives me a lot of time to think. Think about life, think about, "oh yeah, that would be a great idea for a blog post." Then I start constructing sentences, but never actually put them anywhere. So, I guess why that's where we are now....almost three months from my last post. Opps. So I apologize in advance for those loyal readers out there who have been wondering where I've gone. I haven't gone anywhere or disappeared, I just literally, haven't had time to sit and type out anything. But I'll give you a quick recap and then get to my point for the post.
School: School has taken over my life. Four days a week, 100 miles in the AM and 100 miles home. About October, I finally got in the groove of things and waking up at 5 AM. I've really gotten used to it, and actually don't mind the mornings any more. I have become quite productive now that I'm on a good schedule. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say I have had plenty of days where I am really questioning what the heck I was thinking for going back to school. Being a teacher is really a lot of work. It's not just about knowing how to teach and that you can use your knowledge, but you have to truly prove to people that you're smart enough to be a good teacher. I HATE standardized tests for a lot of reasons. 1) I have serious anxiety. It has to do with being perfect or good enough on the test, and I usually psych myself out. I honestly don't think standardized tests prove anything. It doesn't prove that I am a critical thinker, it doesn't prove that I have the ability to learn, or the great character trait of being able to get along with just about anyone. So, for those reasons, being forced to take a test to give you points on entrance into the education program, and then allows you to either be a teacher or not, it totally ridiculous. BUT, it's required, so even though I think the test aren't showing my strengths, I don't really have a choice.
I have really been enjoying my drives, in all honesty. It has given me a lot of time to find some really great music. I've constructed some fantastic playlists for HPE (Health/Phy Ed.) when I sub, and have discovered some great new artists. There have been plenty of moments where I've overthought FAR too many situations.
Classes have been going exceptionally well. At the beginning of the semester I had some reservations about some of the classes. Now that we are about two weeks from the end of the semester, the classes I was most worried about not liking are actually my favorite classes. And the class I was most excited about, is my least favorite class. How does that happen? Regardless, I've made it. Two semesters down, three to go.
It's hard to believe and reflect on where I was in life and what my life consisted of a year ago. I was lost. I didn't know who I was, or where I was going. I had no energy and life just wasn't really all that fun. It's so exciting to feel like that girl who walked onto Concordia's campus and truly started finding herself. After so many years of somehow getting buried, she is back again. And she is fierce. But in a good way.
Whether the energy has come from the 30 pound weight loss, maybe. All that I really know is that this is such an exiting time in my life right now. I have fully become independent. I have captured what is really important in life. I know that I worth so much more than what I was given and promised so many years ago.
I have met so many wonderful people. People have come in and out of my life for a variety of reasons. I love the perspective I have on so many different things. That's what is so great about life. You don't have to just stay in once place forever. You have the CHOICE to make changes. YOU get to decide what your life is going to be filled with, and who you want in your life to make it BETTER. Life's energy is truly dependent on who you surround yourself with. If you have negativity in your life, you will more likely be a negative person. But, if you surround yourself with people who raise you up, and encourage you, and are positive, you are more likely to do the same to others.
As I was cleaning my house today I was truly reflective as what the last year has brought me. A year ago, we had our girls weekend in DL. I was unhappy in my own skin and was a little lost in life. I knew something was going to change but I didn't know what it was at that time or when it was going to happen. Patience, they said. Well, when you want something, it's really hard to wait. But I did. And it has been so worth it. Now by no means is my life sunshine, rainbows, and puppies every day, but today, I feel like it is.
We had our annual girls weekend this weekend it was one of the best weekends, well besides the weather. For once, it wasn't my drama that seemed to be the elephant in the room. I could be myself. I could actually relax...well as much as I can when you have a 4 year-old with you as well. But girls weekend has become more about just being together and doing fun things, and not spending money, shopping, and drinking a lot of wine. Well, we sometimes still drink some wine ;)
I realize this post doesn't have a real theme to it, but I think it's just about being happy. As stressed out as I can get with school, driving, being a mom, planning meals, working, paying bills, I don't think I would have it any other way. School is extremely challenging and time consuming. But I needed to go through the last 7 years to get here today. I needed to have experienced everything I experienced the last 8 years in order for me to be a better educator in the future. I do truly believe everything happens for a reason, but why they happen I have no fricken idea. Now, while i say I believe things happen for a reason, in the same breath, I also think there are many choices in life that may lead to these things, whether good or bad. Does that make any sense? How many people are still actually reading this far? I can't even remember the last time I wrote this long of a post. Okay, for those of you who are still with me, thank you for taking the time to read each and every word.
Thanksgiving is this week. Seriously. I missed a Halloween post and that seemed like it was only 2 weeks ago. Opps. Bad mom award. I've gotten a few of those lately. Mostly since I give them to myself :) It happens. But, I'm reminded that I am a good mom, and I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. I will never let K think we are poor, and I will never ever tell her she can't do something because I can't afford it. She will always have whatever she needs regardless of the cost. And I mean actual needs and not wants. She told me this weekend she thought she needed a cell phone. I asked her why. She told me, "To do stuff on it." She's 4. Really?!? A cell phone! Where does this girl come up with this stuff! In t he same breath she can make me want to pull my hair out and drink an entire bottle of cabernaet, and then be the sweetest thing I've ever seen. My heart melts. She surprises me every day in how much she grows, learns, and how she sees the world. She is still so innocent, but yet has seen and dealt with so much. She is strong-willed, determined, and vibrant.
With that being said, and Thanksgiving, like I said this week, I'm really thankful for so many things. A lot of them are personal accomplishment I've seen in myself and in how I carry out my life the last few months. I have a purpose. I'm driven, and busy as hell. I attempt to find time for a social life, but that usually consists of Snapchat, Instagram, and a few Facebook status updates I read from friends. And this may or may not be occurring during my 90 drive. So in case I forget to post again this month, because lets be honest, it's probably going to happen, I'll list my top 10 things I'm thankful for. These are not in any particular order:
1. Life - the good, the bad, the ugly
Refer to last 2 years of blog posts :)
2. People - the good, the bad, the ugly
In all honesty, I have had the opportunity to work with, be friends with some really amazing people. Each one has a special gift and has contributed to my success in someway shape or form. Not all friends are good friends, but those friends teach you something about trust, and the real value of friendship. It's not about having 2000 followers on Instagram or getting 1,000 likes on a photo post. Of those 1,000 likes how many of those people really know you? Do they really know your real story? Do you even really know them? To me, friendship is one of the most important things in life, and I lost a lot of those friendships during some dark times. So I've made a conscious effort to keep those relationships strong, no matter what man comes into my life or what life brings. Because everyone has their own stuff going on. We all do. But being able to put aside some time to just hang out and be together is so beneficial.
3. Family - I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a family. They created me, and they love me, because they have to. But now I have my own little family: me and Miss K. I may not have it all together, but together we have it all :)
4. Love - Love can come in so many different ways. I enjoy seeing the love everyday. I love seeing old love of two old love-birds walking hand in hand through the mall. Seeing a grandma taking her grandchildren shopping or teaching them about respect in the checkout line in Target. Teaching children about the gift of Christmas, and that the season is about giving and not receiving. That is love.
5. Future - I have so much invested in my future at this point. I took the step, and now I'm already that much closer to the finish line. It might not be the best race, and it might not look the prettiest, but I'll get it done!
6. Faith - I'm not talking about God or a religious faith. Although, yes, this is important to, but this faith is about faith in people, and people having faith in me.....and telling me! I love those people. The people that say, "Good for you," and "I'm so proud of you for what you're doing." Those are the people that see the hard work I've put in, and see the success. This one is for all of you wonderful people in my life. Thank you for having so much faith in me!
7. Simply Being - Life is complicated, but I really like to keep things simple. There is no reason to complicate things when it doesn't need to be complicated. Simple, clean lines. Less is more. Quality verses quantity.
8. Health - I am so thankful for my health these days. Not only for feeling better in my skin because of the weight loss, but because of how happy I am. It's hard work being healthy, but I think I finally figured it out and what it takes for me to feel good about the food I eat and about how I feel in my own skin.
9. Miss K - There are not enough words to say how thankful I am for her. See last 4 years of blog posts :) It literally just keeps getting better.
10. Anything else I missed - This way the list is comprehensive and covers everything. I don't want to leave anyone out :)
Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you for sticking around to read this lengthy post.
As always, life is a journey, and is full of unexpected opportunities. Be brave. Be bold. Be Strong. Never settle for anything less that what you truly deserve. Enjoy the ride.
~A
Holy moly! I seriously haven't blogged since August? Where the heck has time gone. I think I do a lot of "blogging" in my head when I'm driving 200 miles a day. Being in the car gives me a lot of time to think. Think about life, think about, "oh yeah, that would be a great idea for a blog post." Then I start constructing sentences, but never actually put them anywhere. So, I guess why that's where we are now....almost three months from my last post. Opps. So I apologize in advance for those loyal readers out there who have been wondering where I've gone. I haven't gone anywhere or disappeared, I just literally, haven't had time to sit and type out anything. But I'll give you a quick recap and then get to my point for the post.
School: School has taken over my life. Four days a week, 100 miles in the AM and 100 miles home. About October, I finally got in the groove of things and waking up at 5 AM. I've really gotten used to it, and actually don't mind the mornings any more. I have become quite productive now that I'm on a good schedule. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say I have had plenty of days where I am really questioning what the heck I was thinking for going back to school. Being a teacher is really a lot of work. It's not just about knowing how to teach and that you can use your knowledge, but you have to truly prove to people that you're smart enough to be a good teacher. I HATE standardized tests for a lot of reasons. 1) I have serious anxiety. It has to do with being perfect or good enough on the test, and I usually psych myself out. I honestly don't think standardized tests prove anything. It doesn't prove that I am a critical thinker, it doesn't prove that I have the ability to learn, or the great character trait of being able to get along with just about anyone. So, for those reasons, being forced to take a test to give you points on entrance into the education program, and then allows you to either be a teacher or not, it totally ridiculous. BUT, it's required, so even though I think the test aren't showing my strengths, I don't really have a choice.
I have really been enjoying my drives, in all honesty. It has given me a lot of time to find some really great music. I've constructed some fantastic playlists for HPE (Health/Phy Ed.) when I sub, and have discovered some great new artists. There have been plenty of moments where I've overthought FAR too many situations.
Classes have been going exceptionally well. At the beginning of the semester I had some reservations about some of the classes. Now that we are about two weeks from the end of the semester, the classes I was most worried about not liking are actually my favorite classes. And the class I was most excited about, is my least favorite class. How does that happen? Regardless, I've made it. Two semesters down, three to go.
It's hard to believe and reflect on where I was in life and what my life consisted of a year ago. I was lost. I didn't know who I was, or where I was going. I had no energy and life just wasn't really all that fun. It's so exciting to feel like that girl who walked onto Concordia's campus and truly started finding herself. After so many years of somehow getting buried, she is back again. And she is fierce. But in a good way.
Whether the energy has come from the 30 pound weight loss, maybe. All that I really know is that this is such an exiting time in my life right now. I have fully become independent. I have captured what is really important in life. I know that I worth so much more than what I was given and promised so many years ago.
I have met so many wonderful people. People have come in and out of my life for a variety of reasons. I love the perspective I have on so many different things. That's what is so great about life. You don't have to just stay in once place forever. You have the CHOICE to make changes. YOU get to decide what your life is going to be filled with, and who you want in your life to make it BETTER. Life's energy is truly dependent on who you surround yourself with. If you have negativity in your life, you will more likely be a negative person. But, if you surround yourself with people who raise you up, and encourage you, and are positive, you are more likely to do the same to others.
As I was cleaning my house today I was truly reflective as what the last year has brought me. A year ago, we had our girls weekend in DL. I was unhappy in my own skin and was a little lost in life. I knew something was going to change but I didn't know what it was at that time or when it was going to happen. Patience, they said. Well, when you want something, it's really hard to wait. But I did. And it has been so worth it. Now by no means is my life sunshine, rainbows, and puppies every day, but today, I feel like it is.
We had our annual girls weekend this weekend it was one of the best weekends, well besides the weather. For once, it wasn't my drama that seemed to be the elephant in the room. I could be myself. I could actually relax...well as much as I can when you have a 4 year-old with you as well. But girls weekend has become more about just being together and doing fun things, and not spending money, shopping, and drinking a lot of wine. Well, we sometimes still drink some wine ;)
I realize this post doesn't have a real theme to it, but I think it's just about being happy. As stressed out as I can get with school, driving, being a mom, planning meals, working, paying bills, I don't think I would have it any other way. School is extremely challenging and time consuming. But I needed to go through the last 7 years to get here today. I needed to have experienced everything I experienced the last 8 years in order for me to be a better educator in the future. I do truly believe everything happens for a reason, but why they happen I have no fricken idea. Now, while i say I believe things happen for a reason, in the same breath, I also think there are many choices in life that may lead to these things, whether good or bad. Does that make any sense? How many people are still actually reading this far? I can't even remember the last time I wrote this long of a post. Okay, for those of you who are still with me, thank you for taking the time to read each and every word.
Thanksgiving is this week. Seriously. I missed a Halloween post and that seemed like it was only 2 weeks ago. Opps. Bad mom award. I've gotten a few of those lately. Mostly since I give them to myself :) It happens. But, I'm reminded that I am a good mom, and I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. I will never let K think we are poor, and I will never ever tell her she can't do something because I can't afford it. She will always have whatever she needs regardless of the cost. And I mean actual needs and not wants. She told me this weekend she thought she needed a cell phone. I asked her why. She told me, "To do stuff on it." She's 4. Really?!? A cell phone! Where does this girl come up with this stuff! In t he same breath she can make me want to pull my hair out and drink an entire bottle of cabernaet, and then be the sweetest thing I've ever seen. My heart melts. She surprises me every day in how much she grows, learns, and how she sees the world. She is still so innocent, but yet has seen and dealt with so much. She is strong-willed, determined, and vibrant.
With that being said, and Thanksgiving, like I said this week, I'm really thankful for so many things. A lot of them are personal accomplishment I've seen in myself and in how I carry out my life the last few months. I have a purpose. I'm driven, and busy as hell. I attempt to find time for a social life, but that usually consists of Snapchat, Instagram, and a few Facebook status updates I read from friends. And this may or may not be occurring during my 90 drive. So in case I forget to post again this month, because lets be honest, it's probably going to happen, I'll list my top 10 things I'm thankful for. These are not in any particular order:
1. Life - the good, the bad, the ugly
Refer to last 2 years of blog posts :)
2. People - the good, the bad, the ugly
In all honesty, I have had the opportunity to work with, be friends with some really amazing people. Each one has a special gift and has contributed to my success in someway shape or form. Not all friends are good friends, but those friends teach you something about trust, and the real value of friendship. It's not about having 2000 followers on Instagram or getting 1,000 likes on a photo post. Of those 1,000 likes how many of those people really know you? Do they really know your real story? Do you even really know them? To me, friendship is one of the most important things in life, and I lost a lot of those friendships during some dark times. So I've made a conscious effort to keep those relationships strong, no matter what man comes into my life or what life brings. Because everyone has their own stuff going on. We all do. But being able to put aside some time to just hang out and be together is so beneficial.
3. Family - I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a family. They created me, and they love me, because they have to. But now I have my own little family: me and Miss K. I may not have it all together, but together we have it all :)
4. Love - Love can come in so many different ways. I enjoy seeing the love everyday. I love seeing old love of two old love-birds walking hand in hand through the mall. Seeing a grandma taking her grandchildren shopping or teaching them about respect in the checkout line in Target. Teaching children about the gift of Christmas, and that the season is about giving and not receiving. That is love.
5. Future - I have so much invested in my future at this point. I took the step, and now I'm already that much closer to the finish line. It might not be the best race, and it might not look the prettiest, but I'll get it done!
6. Faith - I'm not talking about God or a religious faith. Although, yes, this is important to, but this faith is about faith in people, and people having faith in me.....and telling me! I love those people. The people that say, "Good for you," and "I'm so proud of you for what you're doing." Those are the people that see the hard work I've put in, and see the success. This one is for all of you wonderful people in my life. Thank you for having so much faith in me!
7. Simply Being - Life is complicated, but I really like to keep things simple. There is no reason to complicate things when it doesn't need to be complicated. Simple, clean lines. Less is more. Quality verses quantity.
8. Health - I am so thankful for my health these days. Not only for feeling better in my skin because of the weight loss, but because of how happy I am. It's hard work being healthy, but I think I finally figured it out and what it takes for me to feel good about the food I eat and about how I feel in my own skin.
9. Miss K - There are not enough words to say how thankful I am for her. See last 4 years of blog posts :) It literally just keeps getting better.
10. Anything else I missed - This way the list is comprehensive and covers everything. I don't want to leave anyone out :)
Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you for sticking around to read this lengthy post.
As always, life is a journey, and is full of unexpected opportunities. Be brave. Be bold. Be Strong. Never settle for anything less that what you truly deserve. Enjoy the ride.
~A
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