I don't even know where to begin. A year ago this week the world started shutting down. The Corona Virus, or COVID-19 has taken over news headlines, stopped normal activities and has made life slow down. As I think about the last year and all the changes that have been thrown my way, I can't believe it has been a year. I'll give a brief update on life and then get to the real grit of my post.
I started a new summer weekend gig at a local downtown brewery. It has been so much fun, laid back, and I'm learning a lot about beer. Although wearing masks during the summer on really hots day....not my favorite thing! I continued to help with volleyball during the summer to keep our girls in shape.
As fall was approaching we were on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what our school year would look like. For me as a PE teacher, we were to teach outside with little to no equipment. If equipment was used it must be sanitized between each class. I taught from the first day of school until January 8th outside, every single day. I did end up with COVID and for me it wasn't just the flu. I am still dealing with what they now call Post Covid Syndrome; tachycardia, fatigue, body aches, a headache that will not go way. Th at was November 1st and it is now March 21. As I was able to get back into my gym, we were still not allowed to use much equipment and all students must wear a mask when in PE. Thankfully the weather is getting nice and the water and mud is drying up.
It's been a tough year, mentally, physically, and emotionally. My migraines have literally taken over my life. Since my last post I have been on at least 8 different abortive medications and nothing seems to reduce my headache/migraine days. I have been dealing with with since October 2019. It took a toll on me this summer when I spent the majority of my summer inside on my couch resting, because that was all that was comfortable. Along with less movement, I put on about 20-25 pounds. I thought with me getting back to school and walking so much from the school to our field area I would lose the weight, but it has stayed on. This is either due to medication, stress, or not eating enough. It is hard looking back at photos from a year a half ago and see how thin I was compared to now. But I've been starting to change my mindset.
In the past, I have focused a lot on what has not gone right, which is negative thinking. Whereas, I should be thinking of all the things I've accomplished. I've survived a divorce, going back to school and commuting along with graduating with honors. I've accepted two different teaching positions and have taught both elementary, middle school, and high school in my 4 years as a teacher. I have bought 2 houses and sold one. I coached 2 seasons of volleyball and survived one of the weirdest seasons I've ever coached. However, due to when I had COVID, I was out for over a month due to continued symptoms. I maintain a second weekend job that I love. I strive to be the best PE teacher for my students everyday and look for ways to become a better teacher. I am not afraid to ask for help or use my resources in order to become better in my craft as an elementary PE teacher. I survived A getting remarried and K having a stepsister. I have survived moving back to my hometown. That's a lot to be proud of.
My next feat to tackle is dating....like truly dating. If you read my last post it was about how I was open to dating and going on dates. I signed up for Match and it was a little bit of a let down. I had some great conversations with people but it just never went further from there. I had a short stint this fall with someone, but I knew it wasn't a good match from the start. However, I gave it time to see if it would work. Nope it didn't, and that's okay, because I saw the red flags and how we were way to different to make it actually work, and I said.....See YA! I won't get into details, but if you have time and want to know, you can ask and I'll be happy to share the short version. All I can say is that not all men this age and even a little older have class, or know how to end something that was never really anything. Lesson learned.
But, I'm ready. I'm ready to find someone in town and see if I can maybe have a functional relationship. I seem to be the in-between girl. First there was A, and then he got married fairly quickly. Then B, and now he's with someone, and I'm pretty sure they will get married. I'm also okay with doing life like I am. I'm independent enough, although I rely on my dad for A LOT of things. I'm so thankful that he is close by to help me out and trouble shoot things in my house. He also comes and snowblows my driveway and sidewalk when it snows. To be completely honest, it would be nice having a partner to do my Sunday nights with. Clean the house with. Go get groceries with. I guess if I'm being truly honest, I am a little sad I haven't found that person yet. Although, I have to trust in the process and that God has a plan. I think I still need more time to work on me before the next piece can fall into place.
I felt like this was going to be a lot deeper of a post, but apparently I've lost my train of thought and depth of writing for the time being.
Life is hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. I was reminded from a colleague who is also a dear friend of mine that today might be hard, but there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow may not be better, but you made it through another day.
In closing, I would like to say thank you to those who have been supportive this last year, and especially over these last few months. I never realized how chronic pain can be so debilitating and how much it takes out of my mentally and physically. Overcoming the hard days are hard. I've thankfully been connected with some amazing people in town who deal with chronic pain so they have been a great sounding board. I've also found an AMAZING DNP who focuses both on traditional western medicine but also uses a supplemental route, and IV therapy as well. I really need to start lesson planning for this next week. Happy Sunday!
~A
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