Lasting Impressions

It was two years ago we laid to rest a lineman who had such love for life!  He was also a close friend to A. The following lyrics were played during his funeral. You are missed each day by someone Ryan. "Be Still" by The Fray Be still and know that I'm with you Be still and know that I am here Be still and know that I'm with you Be still, be still, and know When darkness comes upon you And covers you with fear and shame Be still and know that I'm with you And I will say your name If terror falls upon your bed And sleep no longer comes Remember all the words I said Be still, be still, and know And when you go through the valley And the shadow comes down from the hill If morning never comes to be Be still, be still, be still If you forget the way to go And lose where you came from If no one is standing beside you Be still and know I am Be still and know that I'm with you Be still and know I am

I will be strong again someday.  I will be happy in my life and career. I have faith that during this turmoil of the unknowns I must rind my inner peace and really decide what so I want out of life. What do I want for my next career move? I have all these dreams of wanting to start a business and flip houses. I live designing and making a layout perfect for entertaining, maximizing storage and not wasting space.  I love old homes with character and would love to upgrade a kitchen, bathroom, and contemporary paint colors - a girl can dream.  I've been watching way too much Rehab Addict. So, here's to another week with new goals and Thanksgiving.

I'm often told that I blame things on a certain someone. However,  I truly believe that this person is only afraid of the truth that is being said. On another note,  I've always struggled with self image and body image.  Over the summer I gained 25 pounds due to stress, change in medication, and likely poor eating habits. However,  I'm on the start of a new lifestyle and working out and trying to make healthy choices as best as possible. But when someone close to you questions your food choices,  it only wants me to make poor food choices.  Yes,  I have food cravings due to stress.  I honestly think the only way to truly get my stress eating under control is to eliminate a certain person from my life. They say they are around to help,  but yet questions every text that comes in or phone call. I believe this person just wants to control my future and decide who and what is best for me. On a happier note,  I did get an interview for a full-time position for a state positio

As I sit here comfy in my bed next to my little Miss K I can't imagine a better way to start out my weekend. She reminds me if how innocent she is, how she doesn't care about anything in the world other than sharing her cinnamon toast crunch with our Boston Terrier. This is our weekend tradition - dry cereal, cartoons, and snuggles. Getting divorced has brought perspective to certain things. Things almost seem more difficult now than when we were a family of three.  I could just deal with the issues and take care of K. But when other obstacles come in the way,  there really isn't another choice. There are so many days that I'm lonely and miss having a partner to help me out. I miss having true adult conversations and not just about daycare or what Christmas gifts K needs. I truly get that life is complicated but it's only ad complicated as you allow it.  I may not truly believe that you have complete control over your destiny,  but you do have control over some

Here we go again. I've been at my job for 3 weeks now. I'm enjoying it. Have a few concerns on how things are being operated in a training aspect but I figured it would change; this is only your first day. As the weeks go on, I'm self motivated,  getting projects done and I'm feeling ready.  Ready to be in charge,  make some changes, game face on. Not long after this I am called to an office.  When I haven't had much talking or interaction with this man since my start date I knew it likely wasn't going to be good. "shut the door " We have now entered a serious conversation. *disappointed *rule breaker *unfixable *failing to meet our expectations What can I do to fix it? I ask. "I just don't know if there is anything. " he sits back in his chair and asks if I want to talk about anything else?  Do I have other concerns outside of work that I wanted to share? No and no.  I've been here a few weeks,and  yes, I'm crying at this

It was one year ago that my life changed in an instant. Those words I heard still linger in the back of my mind. I can remember the day, the place, the time. You would think that 265 days would make a difference in how you relive that life changing moment, but it doesn't. So many things have happened within the last year that it feels like a whirlwind of events. I was driving to the lake this weekend and had to ask myself, "Is this all just a horrible dream? When will I wake up and things will be normal again." But it isn't a dream. This is life. There's no point in living in the past. Only utilizing past experiences to become stronger and to make better decisions. I have always believed that things happen in life for a reason. The people you meet, the jobs you have. Together they make the dash between your birth and death date on your tombstone. I left the SO in search for something more fitting to what my degree is in. I began that search a year ago and land

Here's to new beginnings, starting over, and finding the person I truly am. "Fight Song" Like a small boat On the ocean Sending big waves Into motion Like how a single word Can make a heart open I might only have one match But I can make an explosion And all those things I didn't say Wrecking balls inside my brain I will scream them loud tonight Can you hear my voice this time? This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I'm alright song My power's turned on Starting right now I'll be strong I'll play my fight song And I don't really care if nobody else believes 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep Everybody's worried about me In too deep Say I'm in too deep (in too deep) And it's been two years I miss my home But there's a fire burning in my bones Still believe Yeah, I still believe And all those things I didn't say Wrecking balls

http://open.spotify.com/track/2Njmt8D9yOBjeR6RgYcfaI You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged Oh I realize It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness inside you Can make you feel so small But I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow Show me a smile then, Don't be unhappy, can't remember When I last saw you laughing If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear You call me up Because you know I'll be there And I'll see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow

87 days, $2,000+, multiple therapy sessions, and it's over. 5 1/2 years of promises to keep us together and it's over. Vows were never meant to be broken, but when they are, then what? What if you try your best to fix it, to try and make it better, to try and put it all behind you? Sometimes love is just not enough. Happiness is worth more to your life than just grinning and bearing it for the rest of your life. Trust is the foundation of marriage. Without trust, your foundation is weak, and could crumble at any moment. I've thought about this day many times before. What it would feel like, would I really go through something like this that is so finite. There's no going back, there's no "undo" button, there's no do-overs. It's literally GAME OVER. Does this mean I get my lives back? Or is it a, "Do not pass go, Do not collect $200 dollars?" By the way, these are fantastic game analogies :) But as one door is closed, locked and chaine

If I actually had real followers on here I might get some feedback on what truly makes you happy? Think about it......how many people can honestly say they are TRULY happy. And if you say, "Yes" I want to know your secret. Everyone has a bad day or two or a shitty situation that they wished they hadn't had to go through. But I do believe there are really, actual happy people out there, And I used to be one of them, Or maybe I was just young and naive at the time as well. The paths we take, the experiences we make, and the people we meet will all contribute to happiness. But I also think that there are too many people out there who aren't happy but aren't willing to take the steps to find out what it is that is making them unhappy and then make the change. For my instance, I have been jumping from job to job thinking that I was missing out on utilizing my creativity that I love so much.  I didn't like the daily task of data entry and poor work environment

Have you heard of burning pages? Literally,  burning pages of paper. There is an actual purpose to doing this.  Why? Stress relief.  There is a bit of work involved prior to lighting the paper on fire for those pyros who just can't wait to see something burn. Burning pages is a technique used to reduce stress by first writing down your thoughts and emotions on paper.  Allow the words to flow freely onto the paper.  It doesn't need to have punctuation, or be grammatically correct. Once you've completed all your thoughts it's time to let it burn. Take your pages outside and start them on fire. Allow the pages to fully burn until they turn to ash. After the pages have burned the idea is that you have eliminated those thoughts and feelings from your day. You have allowed those words to become part of something else and have ridded yourself of the stressful thoughts and emotions. You have made an active decision to try to make yourself feel better by eliminating unwanted

Life has a way of shutting doors and opening windows, at least that's what I'm told. As a child you think about what your life is going to be like when you are an adult. What it will be like to graduate high school, to even be in high school. You'll be part of the "cool kids" be asked to prom and of course speak at graduation. Well, for some this may be exactly what their lives were carved out to be like. Others may have a different story to tell. After high school you go onto college where you find your soulmate. You date, you find that perfect career path, get engaged and move to the big city where you both are employed, wealthy, and live in the burbs in a 4,000 sq. foot house. Again, this would be idealistic, and perfect. And maybe some do have this picture perfect life - congratulations! However, life isn't always what it seems. There are unforeseen obstacles: Jobs, relationships, marriage, kids and people can all cloud judgement and force our "dr

Today I'm 29 years old. The last 10 months my world has been turned upside down, around and back again. As I take on another year, another year older I'm hoping be become a bit wiser. The past is the past and you can only learn from the mistakes that have been made and move on. Yesterday I had the privilege of hearing Joe Schmidt speak about purpose, persistence, and passion.  This year this is my birthday wish. To find my purpose, be persistence, and continue to fulfill my passions. To everyone who has been so supportive,  thank you! This is going to be a great year.