Lasting Impressions

 I don't even know where to begin. A year ago this week the world started shutting down. The Corona Virus, or COVID-19 has taken over news headlines, stopped normal activities and has made life slow down. As I think about the last year and all the changes that have been thrown my way, I can't believe it has been a year. I'll give a brief update on life and then get to the real grit of my post. I started a new summer weekend gig at a local downtown brewery. It has been so much fun, laid back, and I'm learning a lot about beer. Although wearing masks during the summer on really hots day....not my favorite thing! I continued to help with volleyball during the summer to keep our girls in shape. As fall was approaching we were on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what our school year would look like. For me as a PE teacher, we were to teach outside with little to no equipment. If equipment was used it must be sanitized between each class. I taught from the first day

In the world of online dating it is a swipe left or swipe right. Swipe right means you're interested, and a swipe left means no thanks. We all judge. We judge based on pictures posted to a profile. We judge based on the information provided in a profile, or lack there of. We judge on their height, their profession, and sometimes whether they have any pictures of themselves without sunglasses or a hat on! Right now, I'm a serial swiper.  I've been open to dating and dating for at least six months now, but only got online with the famous dating apps a few weeks ago; Tinder and Bumble. Maybe I'm really still old school about how dating should be, but I feel like if you "match" with someone, the guy should be the first one to reach out and initiate a conversation. Now, if you are unfamiliar with some dating apps, there is an app Bumble, where if you match with someone, the female has to make the initial contact. However, after that initial contact, I still think t

I have always struggled with accepting my body size and shape. I have never been Barbie thin. My entire life I have always been bigger than my friends, teammates, you name it. It has been an issue that I've struggled with for a really long time. Right after my divorce I was super thin and was working out and teaching group exercises 3 times a week...I loved the way my body looked but I still wasn't happy. While life and stress makes my weight fluctuate, I still am active and enjoy working out. I cannot wait for the gyms to open back up so I have a place to go and lift. I've been running, and even bought a new pair of running shoes. But this post isn't really about me, it's about the idea of what others see my body as. I have been open to dating recently and have been on a handful of dates...none that really amounted to anything. There was one, but it was a total friend zone kind of 6 weeks. Great person, just not the right fit. I had a date this weekend and i

I honestly can't believe I've had 3 posts in a week! When was the last time that happened? I was siting in my 5th Google Hangout Meeting today and just started crying. I knew why, I just didn't want to admit it. I have never felt so empty about something in my life since my divorce. I would cry like this and just hope the feeling would eventually go away. I would occupy myself with things to do around the house, or running errands or whatever; but it doesn't go away. I have been really unhappy in my job this year. There are a lot of factors, but I figured I would get into the groove of things, and it would be fine. However, that feeling has not gone away. As stated in an earlier post this week, I was passed over for a position, well, I never even had a chance to interview for it, even though it was exactly what I wanted. Politics. When I accepted this position in Alexandria I knew what I was getting into as far as traveling to other schools. What I didn't know I

I feel like I have a heavy heart going into this next week of distant learning. Everything seems to come crashing down the moment I get all the plates spinning in the right direction and at the right pace. In an instant life can change. A person can call and change the entire night based on what was said. Co-parenting is really hard some times. I think the move back has helped, but I'm back in the position of where A wants to know all of my personal stuff. While I appreciate his feedback, it truly isn't his business. After being out of a relationship for almost a year, I'm ready to date again. It's not like I have people lining up outside my door asking me for my number. People are meeting online these days. I'm open, but seriously, the whole trusting part is getting the best of me. I had someone ask me if I would be happy if I never found someone  to live the rest of my life with. While that question caught me off guard, I didn't hesitate to answer; of

While I know this title for this post is cliche, it has been the theme of my life since almost a year ago. I loved my job, had amazing co-workers, but was away from family. A job opportunity came my way and I struggled to know if it was the right move. Was it something that I really wanted? The move would be better for K and the ability to co-parent, but I needed to feel value in my career. I had all of that from where I came from, and was hoping to find it here. As the year has progressed, I have been through a gauntlet of emotions, roller coaster of life events, and attempting to navigate the new normal. I used every available tool to get a grip on my new position; to be the best I could be. I have a passion, which is why I went back to school. I feel my passion dying and fading. Not because I don't like teaching, but because I don't feel connected. I have that feeling of being forced to play a sport that I'm really not passionate about. I remember growing up and bein